She’s still at it folks! Through good times and bad, my little Hannie keeps me laughing and I am so grateful. If you missed the original Hannah-isms, read about my beautiful daughter and her amazing sense of humor here.
Disclaimer: Anything goes when it comes to Hannah’s views on the world. I suggest you put down your beverages now, before you end up laughing so hard you inhale them.
And now for your reading pleasure:
6 year-old on pets & family dynamics: “Ok Mom pretend you have a pet monkey. Like I’m a monkey. And Alex is not a monkey, he’s just a regular brother who has autism. And he doesn’t like dogs & I don’t either cuz dogs are scary for monkeys… oh! & I can sing and do exercises in the bathtub…”
Six year-old on really important things: Hannah: “Mommy, I am sooo sad. Do you see how sad I am? (makes pouty face) I am just. so. sad. because… (insert dramatic hand gesture here) .. I wish the smurfs were real. I mean, I am soo into smurfs now. I like them more than Ariel. And I wish they were real, and they could come into our house, and I could play with them, and…” (Mommy’s eyes glaze over… my god, what have we done?…)
Six year-old on biking: (Hannah, big grin in store) “I want the cool Barbie bike!!” (5 mins later) “This helmet is awesome, look at me!” (20 mins later) “When can I ride it??” (30 mins later) “Hurry up, get it out of the car, I want to go biking!” (5 mins later) “I am NOT riding that thing!” (2 mins later) “I didn’t say I wanted to RIDE it, but you CAN’T take it back!!” (10 mins & several deep breaths by mom later) “I know how to get on by myself!” (10 seconds later) “DON’T let go of me!” (30 seconds later) “I don’t care if it has training wheels, keep holding ON!” (10 mins later) “Look at me Mom! I’ll race ya!” (20 mins later, back to the big grin) “Can you BELIEVE I rode the whole way myself??”
(Hannah, spontaneously from the backseat of the car) “Mom, I smurfin’ LOVE you!” (Me, eyeing my kid in the rearview mirror, pausing to consider her inflection) “I, uh, smurfin’ love you too baby.”
(Hannah, 5 minutes later) “Mom, I f*#&in’ LOVE you!”
(Hannah walks in wearing a pink Eagles baseball cap with a purple pen clipped to the brim) “Ok Mom, when Aubrey comes over I wanna ask her about this. Am I off? Am I like way off? Am I super off? Did I hit the bullseye? Am I on? Did I get it right? Am I totally on? Or am I SUPER on?”
Dinner by Hannah: ♥ Salad greens with multi-seed rice cracker crumbs & raisins; Gluten-free mac & cheese with a smattering of ketchup mixed in, served cold; Hand-prepared green beans; Finely shredded Mexican cheese in a circle; Water service; Mint Hershey kiss ♥ “Mom, I read all the boxes, everything said gluten-free!” ♥ “I snapped all the beans myself!” ♥ “You get dessert right on the plate!” ♥ (and my personal fav) “Wanna know how I got those glasses down from the highest shelf??”
(Late for the first-grade breakfast) Hannah: “Mommy, do you know what a truant officer is?” Me: “Um, I think so. Don’t they catch people when they’re late to school?” Hannah: “No. A truant officer finds all the kids who are out having fun & puts them back in school where they belong.” (long silence) Me: “So Hannah, who’s the one who catches the late people? Cuz that’s who we gotta watch out for.” Hannah: “That would be an *adult* truant officer.” (knuckle bump)
Six year-old on importance of sleep: “If we sleep slow, we get more rest. If we get more rest, we have more energy. If we have more energy, we do more work. If we do more work, we get more money. If we get more money, we can buy more things.”
“Ok *enough* with the tiny hiney jokes. That’s it Mom. Enough.”
Six year-old re-enactments: Apparently we had a “situation” with the smurfs last night. Fortunately Barbie, Ken & their trusty companion were on the case with a butterfly net.