18 Jul 2012 5 Comments
angry words and sharp comments confusion, escalation, debate misunderstanding stings I feel shaken, whipped around by the tones in your voice heart racing and leaping grasping at words as they fall away down the sides of the mountain that sprung up between us it’s all wrong, my words twisted & thrown … not what I meant, not what I mean… frantic I try to put thoughts back together and find my way back to the core voices quieter now. tears and a nod a hug but it’s hollow and panic is lingering lonely and lonelier still… there’s nothing to do but let the tears come and stare out the window watching the sky … please help me come back … …are you there? … are you gone? it’s crushing, fast breaths grief floods the insides words scroll through my mind, and I realize … I’m talking out loud to myself I try & I cry & I’m hopeless at this fumbling, throwing out thoughts nothing helps … but I pound my fists on this mountain as I cry & I try desperate to find you again the words lay in heaps on the ground where I sit and the mountain looms large in the fore I miss you, I’m broken but finally listening… I can find my way back to you now I return with hands open, with words set aside to hear your heart beat and your breath my fingers tangle your hair, I let go and I soften to feel the end of the journey apart my back to the mountain I breathe slowly once more and give thanks that the climb didn’t break us we found our way through, can we always do that? I am grateful to simply be here.