This morning while digging around under the refrigerator for my son’s one zillion lost marbles… (hehe, lost marbles, now there’s another post altogether…) I came across a little refrigerator magnet my friend Amy brought back from a trip to Holland. I never really knew anything about Holland and didn’t have any particular interest in learning about tulips and windmills and all that. Pretty to look at, but no relevance to my life. Always thinking I’d much rather travel elsewhere.
Several years ago, when Alex was first diagnosed with autism, someone emailed me a poem by Emily Perl Kingsley called “Welcome to Holland.” Ever since then pictures of tulips and windmills and Dutch shoes get me all choked up. One day I want to see the enormous fields of tulips, I want to walk through them and surround myself with those beautiful reminders of all the things in my life for which I am grateful. And ultimately how glad I am, despite the challenges and grief and breaking points, that I am living my life and not someone else’s.
The poem says it best, you really just have to read it to get it. Since I don’t know the legal hullaballoo about re-posting previously published material and all that (and I am too impatient to wait to find out!), I am including the nice little link below to take you to the poem. Hope you enjoy.
Autism Home Rescue 
Oct 04, 2010 @ 05:40:47
I was reading your blog early this morning and realized how we all sometimes live in “Holland” as life deals us these situations in which the loneliness could drag us down. I think about all the myriads of families and friends walking through my door and the resilience that is shown to make things work. Somehow the heartaches turn into experiences of joy in the small things of life, things that might have passed us by. The difference in each one’s life is the resilience of love, an all fitting quality that is able to tackle whatever tomorrow brings. Love that forfeits to gain more in return. Insecurity about the future that leads to security in conviction. Feelings of chaos that turns into living for each day as it comes. Perhaps our worlds are teaching us more about what life really is all about?